Where the Wind Blows.

The representation of this title leads me to tell you just that… wherever the wind blows me. I documentation of this weekends events, my life in its present state, the cleaning saga in which I spend time trying to figure out how to live alone, and the latest of my video game fascinations.

At the present moment I have finally been dabbling into Bioshock. I know this sounds extremely pathetic and quite childish, but the beginning of the game freaked me out so much that upon moving 6 hours away from my closest friend or relation, I was way to afraid to play it. I didn’t want to freak myself out. & that I guarantee you, I would have done. Soo, until becoming much familiar with my present place of residence I have not been playing video games that freak me out, only ones that are  toned down, and I am very familiar with. This means, Dead Space, definitely on a back burner, as well as Left 4 Dead 2 and Bioshock. That was until recently with Bioshock. I have been enjoying it immensely lately. So much in fact that I have come to cursing severely when I can’t figure out what to do next or I am killed by one of those stupid people down in rapture. The story between the sisters and Mr. Bubbles is keeping me in suspense and I am refusing to look up any information on the internet, because I like the waiting to find out.

Also, I am now reading the book Smashed

which is about a girl who becomes an extreme alcoholic at the age of 14. Its an odd read for me to choose, but I picked it because I am continually interested in peeking into the world of troubled people, and I don’t really understand what it means to have to drink alcohol. I don’t know the feeling of being dependent on something so fully that you can’t go a day without obtaining it. And because of that I am reading this book. Unfortunately it is taking me a lot longer time to read books these days because I have become an extreme work-a-holic.

I try to separate myself at the end of the day, but it is becoming increasingly hard.My work completely surrounds me. Hopefully soon, I’ll be able to find some balance.

The last thing I would like to bring up at this present time is my struggles to clean all of those random things that you don’t normal think about in your place of residence. Today I struggled to clean the gas stove and I do believe it went well, but it was quite a disaster. I had things everywhere and after I cleaned the stove I had to clean the rest of the kitchen because I made a complete mess. Then I tackled the blinds and ended up soaking them in the bathtub. They were nasty dirty. I’m probably going to have to do it at least two more times before they look the right color. The water was black by the time I drained it. Thank-god I haven’t lived here long because that would be terrible. Knowing that I have been breathing that in. ugh. My spring cleaning will probably be going on for the next few months. We’ll see how it goes…

Besides that, I’m always on the run. More soon.


First Tour Begins Tomorrow.

We do many things in our lives, for advancement, for our names, and we do things just for fun. Have you had a full plan, you know like when you were a child did you make a list of things we were planning to complete and then go out and complete it? Yeah I guess not everyone out there was as ambitious as me. Anyway, I guess the next stepping stone on my list is officially about to begin tomorrow.

My first divo tour. What a ride it will be. I’m sure I know nothing of what I have gotten myself into but I was chosen for engineering and the repair officer at that. Its just great news. A forensic scientist repairing engines on a destroyer. What a great combination. Not. It will be keeping me plenty occupied for the most part I can imagine.

Anyway enough about my job now more brought to you about my home decor project. My first apartment alone and I had absolutely nothing to put in it. Nothing. No furniture, no kitchen items, no nothing. And it was beautiful. There’s nothing like seeing your first place in all its glory through your untainted eyes. No it does not have a dishwasher, yes the stove is gas, no it does not have a microwave, yes it has multiple holes in the way from the last owner and their decorations. None of that matters when you see it for the first time. All of those things just disappear and they are meaningless.

I have spent over 200 dollars every single day this past week. I spontaneously decided to buy a 40″ Sony Bravia TV and stand instead of a bed. That’s not for the faint of heart let me tell you. I consider myself one of very few who would actually do that. I did buy a couch, although I was forced to sleep on the floor for the first 3 nights and it was pretty miserable. I also did not have power for those 3 nights and survived with lanterns and a ginormous flashlight from Wally world. Everything went well though. Nobody tried to break in and attack me and actually I was surprised to sleep through the nights with not one freak out. I thought for sure that would happen.

All in all this past week has gone by quickly and I was able to buy quite a few things already to furnish my place with. A table and four chairs, a couch, coffee table, TV/TV stand, rug, kitchen appliances. I have seen the transformation of my place and I am the artist, and it has been fascinating. I went from sleeping on a living floor with absolutely nothing but a sleeping bag and lantern to a furnished place in just days. It was great fun.

So tomorrow my time off ends and I must report back. It is time.

On a lighter note I have been thinking alot lately about my book. Maybe its time to brush off all of the old rejections and begin a new. I had this conversation with a friend the other day, she said that she had been asked to look over a small manuscript from someone else who had written young adult. She told me that their work was shit compared to mine and she feels very confident that I can get published. I actually believe her. Its going to be tough like it was the first time, but I am confident that I can withstand the blows. You have to get at least 40 rejections before its even considered trying.

So as I start my new job I feel its time to renew my subscription at writers market and begin again. There’s much in store for the future and I’m just dying to find out what happens next…

Where Are My People???

Summer is here. I wouldn’t be able to say that if I hadn’t almost died the other day in the sweltering heat when I was out biking it on the bike trail for 15 miles. By the time we got back to our house I really thought I was going to die, and the only way to get away from the heat was an ice cold swimming pool. I have never felt so refreshed, I couldn’t even see anything but cooling off as I staggered up to the deck and let my body freely drop and be enveloped in the shockingly cold water.

I have never felt so upset about anything as this summer when I have realized that all of my friends are out and about outside of our town doing things to help them with their lives and futures. It didn’t hit me until the other night when i was sitting at my house I decided to call someone up to hang out and as I was going down the list in my phone  book I realized there was no one to call because the few friends that I have left in this place, were working or busy.

How sad. Every single one of my very close friends is not staying here this summer and I am stuck in this prism of jobs working everyday of the week, not getting a chance to hang out with anybody. I have never felt this way in my entire life. Everyday there is something to do and when we are bored we somehow find something fun  to get into. Now, there is nothing. I am stuck here alone with very few people to hang out with and it is certainly heartbreaking when not long ago I was able to pull eight or nine people together for a night of fun, spur of the moment.

What is the world coming too? Reality sucks.

Confessions of a Writer<3